


Sometimes Life Is Exactly Like the Movies

by stellatundra



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Movie Night, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 02:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11072265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellatundra/pseuds/stellatundra
Summary: Steve has not, in fact, seen that really old movieThe Empire Strikes Back. Sam and Clint intend to rectify this immediately. For some reason the ending of the movie really strikes a chord with Steve…





	Sometimes Life Is Exactly Like the Movies

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for The Empire Strikes Back.

“Hey Steve, you all right?”

Steve hesitates. ‘All right’ is relative, these days. He’s not currently being shot at, blown up, thrown off a building, accused of war crimes or being forced by circumstance into betraying one of his friends, so on balance, yeah, probably.

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m all right.”

Except that right now he thinks he would almost welcome being shot at, blown up or thrown off a building. Just doing nothing gives him too much time to think, and too much time to think is giving him an itch under his skin that burns with dissatisfaction and regret. It’s not that he regrets taking Bucky’s side, never that, he just regrets that there had to be a question of taking sides in the first place. He regrets that they’re hiding out here, fugitives, their names muddied, the accords still in force. Most of all he regrets that after everything he’s done for Bucky’s sake, Bucky isn’t here beside him. 

“Really? Cause that is not the face of a man who is all right. Trust me, it’s kind of my job to spot these things.”

Steve makes an effort to smooth his brow and push all thoughts of Bucky to the back of his mind. He draws his shoulders up and turns to give Sam a small smile.

“I was thinking of hitting the gym. You want to come with me?”

“Hell no,” Sam says with a snort, “I just had a shower. Training is done for today. And that goes for you too, Rogers. I don’t care if you could row another twenty miles or destroy another sixteen punch bags, even super soldiers need some downtime. And standing out here brooding does not count.”

“I wasn’t brooding,” Steve says. He really is sorry about those punchbags. 

“And I know T’Challa has an impressive gym setup, but there’s also a pretty fancy entertainment system. Clint found a cinema room and we were going to watch a movie.”

“I don’t know -” Steve begins, but Sam isn’t having any of it. 

“It would cheer Wanda up, I think. Besides, you must have loads of movies on your list to catch up with still. Any requests?”

Sam starts walking and Steve finds himself falling into step with him. He doesn’t think he can even remember what was on his lists of ‘post-1940s culture other people thought he ought to catch up with’. Unless…

“What about that movie that kid from Queens talked about, back at the airport. Something about an empire?” If nothing else, perhaps he will gain some valuable battle tactics. 

“Oh… you mean The Empire Strikes Back? Sure, good choice, good choice. Even better than the first one. Plus it has Lando Calrissian - scoundrel, you’ll like him.”

Sam announces Steve’s movie choice to the others who are already assembled in a well-appointed room with an enormous screen. They all seem to approve heartily of his choice, although Steve suspects it’s only partly approval for the movie itself and partly approval that he has selected it, that he is joining in with the rest of the team. He wonders if he has been a little slack in that regard lately, if he hasn’t given his team the attention and encouragement they deserve outside of physical training. They are here for him, after all, all of them, they came through for him when he needed allies and spending a little more time with them watching movies and a little less time alone (not brooding, definitely not brooding) is hardly a hardship. They care about him, Steve realises, and they don’t want him to be alone and unhappy. He might have lost friends, dear friends, in one way or another, but he’s not alone.

Clint insists on playing Star Wars first, for completeness. He and Scott have a protracted debate over whether they should watch the prequels first (Steve doesn’t even ask). Scott is outvoted three to one (Steve abstains). 

Steve enjoys the movies. They remind him of some of the adventure movies back in the day, plucky heroes banding together to defeat the bad guys. Just, you know, in space. But after Loki and the chitauri, space doesn’t seem quite so far-fetched anymore. The evil empire even remind him of Hydra a bit, and he can almost see himself with a lightsaber, battling stormtroopers on the icy plains of Hoth. He finds he now understands a lot more references. A lot. 

Steve gasps when Darth Vader is revealed to be Luke’s father. Swallows when Luke loses a hand. Grips the arm rest as Han is dragged away from Leia and put into carbon freeze. And then the movie is over, Luke, Leia and the droids staring out into the void of space.

Steve gets to his feet.

“That’s… that’s it?”

Clint presses pause on the rolling credits and they all look at him questioningly.

“Steve, what -”

“That’s the end of the movie? It just ends like that, with Han frozen in carbonite and… it just ends like that?” They’re all staring at him now, and he knows he’s being ridiculous, it’s only a movie after all, but it’s not supposed to end like that, movies are supposed to end like the first one, with the good guys winning and getting a medal and not with… not with someone just getting frozen and everyone else outcasts, defeated, and, and… they… they love each other and now he’s just frozen and who knows when or if he’ll ever be unfrozen and…

The horrified pity on Wanda’s face is what alerts him to the fact that he’s just said all of that out loud. Steve runs one hand through his hair and realises that he’s shaking.

“Steve, you know…” Clint begins.

“I know,” he interrupts shortly, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “I know. It’s only a movie.” But he’s pretty sure they all know he wasn’t just talking about the movie.

“I was just going to say there’s another movie. This one is only part two of three.”

“Er, technically it’s part five of nine,” Scott pipes up. “If you don’t count the spin-offs.”

“Really not the point,” Wanda says to him under her breath.

“He’s OK, you know. Han. In the next movie. I can put it on now.” Clint waves the remote around.

“I… maybe another time,” Steve says, and he’s out of the door as fast as his legs will carry him. 

He feels bad for bailing on them. He knows they were trying to do something nice. He doesn’t blame any of them for the choice of movie - he’d picked it, after all. 

He doesn’t think about it consciously as he walks, but he’s not at all surprised when he finds himself outside Bucky’s door. At least, that’s how he’s come to think of it. Technically it’s a lab, where Bucky is stored, frozen and hooked up to wires and buttons and things.

And he chose to be put there. Sometimes Steve thinks that’s the hardest part. He can’t knuckle down and fight the people who put him under, fight to get him back, because Bucky chose it. And he can’t say he doesn’t understand his reasons either, even if he still can’t quite bring himself to agree with them.

“Hey Buck,” he says, pressing his palm against the outside of the case. “I watched this movie today and it kinda made me think of you.” He finds himself telling Bucky the entire plot. Bucky is frozen, oblivious as always, but it helps, somehow to talk to him, even if he can’t talk back. To know that he is still here. When he runs out of things to say, he just sits. It’s not exactly companionable silence and he’s not sure it helps, really, visiting Bucky like this, but it’s a temporary relief at any rate.

It’s maybe twenty minutes before there’s a knock at the door. Steve looks up from where he’s now sitting on the floor, expecting it to be Sam and mildly surprised when Clint shuffles sheepishly in and sits down beside him, uninvited. Although on second thoughts, Clint is one of the few people Bucky never tried to kill, to the best of his recollection, so…

“Look,” he says, “sorry about the movie. One of us should have thought. Sam’s back there muttering to himself about triggers.”

“It’s really nobody’s fault,” Steve says. He sighs. “You must think I’m being selfish. I’m not the only one here who’s... You and Scott, your families…”

“True,” Clint concedes. “But it’s not forever. And there’s always facetime. Besides, I swear Nat whatsapps me now more than when we were on the same side. Point is, we can at least talk to our loved ones, while you… OK, looks like you can talk to him fine, it’s just him talking back that’s the problem, huh?” Steve finds himself smiling just a little, wondering whether Clint really needs people to talk back in his conversations. Clint gives him an assessing look, then his eyes flick up to Bucky in his cryo-chamber. “You love him. Don’t you?”

“I…” Steve is a little taken aback by the directness of the question. “Yeah. Yeah, I love him.” Somehow it hurts less than he’d imagined to acknowledge it out loud. Clint doesn’t press him on the exact nature of his feelings for Bucky. It has taken him all of his life so far to figure out the complicated question: just exactly what is Bucky to him? Only in the past few turbulent months has he realised that the answer is actually quite simple: everything. 

“That’s OK, you know.”

“I know. I know it is.” And he does. Even though part of the reason they’re even here is because some people - Tony, for a start - think it really isn’t OK. He doesn’t have any doubts though. Sometimes he thinks his biggest regret is that he didn’t just tell Bucky. Sometimes he thinks that if he had, Bucky wouldn’t have gone through with it. Other times he’s sure Bucky already knew. Steve tips his head back with a sigh. “I just wonder, what if… what if there isn’t a sequel for us? What if this is how our story ends?”

“Well,” Clint says, “if there’s one thing I have learned, it’s that sometimes life is exactly like the movies. I know everyone says it isn’t, but… come on. Dude, you’ve got superpowers. You survived sixty-something-or-other years in the ice. Your pal Bucky survived as long in and out of cryo-freeze, under Hydra control and still came out fighting. You think this is the end? Hell, I’d bet there’s a whole bunch of sequels lined up for you guys. An entire franchise.” Clint hauls himself to his feet, rubbing his shoulder with a wince. “Me, I reckon I’m in that one movie where the poor guy has retired and gets called out for just one last job. I’m getting too old for this shit. Not like you, Forever Young.” He pauses, points a finger at Steve and wags it. “Which, by the way, is another movie you should probably not watch.”

“Noted,” Steve says.

“Coming?” Clint asks. He reaches out a hand. Steve doesn’t take it but he gets to his feet anyway. The others will be worrying about him. And Bucky - well, Bucky will still be here.

“Thank you Clint,” he says, seriously. 

“See, I can do the serious stuff. I don’t know why everybody thinks I can’t do the serious stuff.”

“You have your moments.” Steve’s lips quirk into a small smile. “Not many of them, but you do have them.” 

Clint punches him on the arm, then winces slightly.

“Actually using Star Wars references now? I’m gonna tell Sam we’ve created a monster.”

“The force is with me,” Steve says proudly.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t overdo it.” Clint grumbles. “So… Return of the Jedi?”


End file.
